ONCE UPON A PEW


Once Upon A Pew, I Sat Once upon a pew, I sat And heard the preacher ask,
"We need someone to teach a class, Now who will take this task?"

Then God sat down beside me there And said, "Son, that's for you."
"But, Lord, to stand before a class Is one thing I can't do"

Now Bill would be the man to call, There's nothing he won't do.
"I'd rather hear the lesson taught From here upon my pew."

Once upon a pew I sat And heard the preacher ask,
"We need someone to lead the songs, Now who will take this task?"

Then God sat down beside me there And said, "Son, that's for you."
"But Lord, to sing before a crowd Is one thing I can't do.

Now Brother King will do the job, There's nothing he won't do.
"I'd rather hear the music played From here upon my pew."

Once upon a pew I sat And heard the preacher ask,
"I need someone tokeep the door, Now who will take this task?"

Then God sat down beside me there And said,
"Son, that's for you."
"But saying things to strangers, Lord, Is one thing I can't do"

Now Tom can talk to people, Lord, There's nothing he won't do.
"I'd rather someone come to me And greet me on the pew."

As years just seemed to pass me by, I heard that voice no more.
Until one night I closed my eyes And woke on heaven's shore.

'Twas four of us together there To face eternity.
God said,
"I need just three of you To do a job for me."

"O Lord, I cried, "I'll do the job, There's nothing I won't do."
But Jesus said,
"I'm sorry, Friend, In Heaven there's no pew."

Attributed to the book: "Once upon a Pew: More Fun Than Having the Preacher Over!:
A Collection of True, Funny Things That Have Happened in Church...Numerous Quips, Pulpit Bloopers, Typos and . . .,"
By Alley, Ken P. K., Published by Hearth Pub (May 1, 1996), ISBN: 0964508508




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